It is never easy to directly say things from your heart, no matter how straight forward a person you are. It is not simply just uttering words that you feel like saying. It is in composing yourself to accept the consequences when those words are shared.
No, I’m not referring to venomous spewing of words in a fit of anger or the unveiling of your feelings when you’re a little tipsy. Often times, it would result in ferocious apologies but nonetheless a crack is formed.
But when you make a conscientious choice to open up to voice your inner self, there’s a sense of liberation. While the after effect may be dire, you feel no apology is needed. It is your opinion of situations perceived from your point of view. It is neither a judgment nor criticism.
Or you could just say nothing.
And let it pass. But it is not the same as letting it go.
If you choose to say nothing, it will eat you up inside. It will challenge your sense of realism. It will alter your state of mind. And soon, you find that you’re not the same person as before. Everything about you is of what other dictate you to be. Whatever becomes your answer to everything.
Gradually, you wither. You fail to exercise acumen. Finally, you fail.
Hey Az, you’re now 16 months old. I measured you the other day and you stood 81cm. As your aunt Peggy said, your adult height will be twice that when you’re 18 months old. Guess I’ll know the truth of this theory when you’re 18 years old.
You learn so quickly. I’m simply amazed at your Vietnamese…counting from 1 to 10, and other words that I don’t even know,but now I do, thru learning from you.
You call me ‘Dada’, and laugh when you call me ‘BB’. You’re actually making jokes at 16 months old. Don’t ever change that. From the day you were born, I know you’re a happy child…bringing happiness to people around you. No one taught this to you, it’s a gift. I’m writing this little thing about you coz one day, when you’re much older, when I tell you about your childhood, you know it’s something we’ve shared before. Or, if dada loses his memory, this will serve as a reminder of the joy you’ve given me.
Oh, one more thing. You tire everyone out. Your boundless energy is so infectious though. Everyone just seems to be more lively around you.
Ok, just a few words to let you know a little about you when you’re a toddler. Dada will try and write more over the course of your growing up.
Dada loves you heaps, and so does everyone around you. Muuaak.
Truth be told, I could never ever have imagined myself being a father, and how a fragile little thing can reduce me to a pulp. Well, I am now a father, living it up, and admittedly, already being twirled around her littlest pinky.
Work had taken me away from her for about 4 days during her first week back home. Upon my return, I could see the marked changes and all the little wonderful things that she started doing while I was away.
These are the things I’ve resolved not to miss, and be there for as much as I possibly can. Looking at the picture, I did miss the smile but credit to Thuy, she took a picture of her smiling, while still very much asleep.
This morning, she flashed a laugh at one of my usual silly antics, and that is priceless. This was her first laugh in response of my effort. Thuy has heard her laugh out loud but i have not. Can’t imagine what my reaction would be when I do hear it.
Regardless, while I know it’s never a bed of roses all the time, I’ll certainly enjoy every new thing that she’s got showing to me and the I’ll have immense joy watching her grow.
Peace Out T.Y. Liu