Speaking from the heart

It is never easy to directly say things from your heart, no matter how straight forward a person you are. It is not simply just uttering words that you feel like saying. It is in composing yourself to accept the consequences when those words are shared.

No, I’m not referring to venomous spewing of words in a fit of anger or the unveiling of your feelings when you’re a little tipsy. Often times, it would result in ferocious apologies but nonetheless a crack is formed.

But when you make a conscientious choice to open up to voice your inner self, there’s a sense of liberation. While the after effect may be dire, you feel no apology is needed. It is your opinion of situations perceived from your point of view. It is neither a judgment nor criticism.

Or you could just say nothing.

And let it pass. But it is not the same as letting it go.

If you choose to say nothing, it will eat you up inside. It will challenge your sense of realism. It will alter your state of mind. And soon, you find that you’re not the same person as before. Everything about you is of what other dictate you to be. Whatever becomes your answer to everything.

Gradually, you wither. You fail to exercise acumen. Finally, you fail.

don't mind

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Check List for my 2012 Goals

Earlier this year, I took the bold step in setting goals for myself this year. How am I doing so far? Let’s see….

Smoke less, breathe more (exercise)

Yes, I’ve reduced smoking, though not by much. Still, it’s a start. Have so far managed to reduce to under 1 pack a day, from almost 3 previously, so guess I’m doing ok. 6/10

Have not really started on any exercise regimen yet, so this is a no -no for now. Been watching Bruce Lee the Legend though, and is a great inspiration. So this will be the moved up the priority list of things to do. 2/10

Talk less, listen more

Excellent on this goal. I’ve managed so far to hold my tongue and flap my ears more. Sometimes though, it’s not easy, as some of the things people say, you simply just can’t believe it. Unexpectedly, it’s also become an exercise in restraint. Since I’ve listened more, I also begin to process more thoughts. Happy with progress. 7/10

Go out less, read more

Well, haven’t been going out less, although if any lesser, I’d be staying home!!! Have actually read a lot more, even reading books that I’ve read before some years back. Simply by reading more, you also think more. Somebody actually said this, “I feel stupid if I don’t read for 3 days”; there’s truth in this statement. 7/10

Idle less, write more

Indeed, I have been writing more, so this goal is on track. Sometimes though, the inspiration is simply not there but I do believe once you start writing, no matter how bad it is in the beginning, it will get better. Giving myself 6/10 as I need to further push myself in writing on a regular basis, which is what’s missing.

Eat less meat, more veg

This goal is GREAT. I do feel a lot healthier and feel less fatigue. I’m for sure not getting younger. Maybe I should go one level up by being a vegetarian? Hmmm….certainly worth a thought. 7/10

Open my heart, learn to love again

Failing badly. Still avoiding this subject. 1/10

Sleep earlier, wake up earlier

Inching to realizing this goal. At least I’m catching at least 6 hours of sleep. Still a long way to go though. 3/10

Adhere to a more regular schedule, adhere to regular meals

Can’t really say I’m achieving the goal I’ve set but on the way. 3/10

Be kinder & be more humble

Funny, according to my dad, for this year, this is what I need to do. Don’t think I’m aloof or arrogant but I’ve certainly given a lot more thoughts to the suffering around me. As to being humble, what can I say? I’m not the boastful sort to start with. Perhaps I’ve given more credit to others? 6/10

Be more curious

Not that I’ve been less curious. yes, I did ask more questions this year. Part of listening more? 6/10

Watch a good movie a month

Subjective as to the quality and content but I’ve watched 2 movies this year, so guess I’m achieving this goal. Not that difficult, really. 7/10

Be more aware & be more spiritual

Have definitely been thinking a lot more and measuring the thoughts with actions. 6/10

Be less cynical, be more trusting

A bit of a contradiction. By being curious, is it the same as being cynical, since I’m questioning more? Need more thoughts on this. Tricky one. 4/10

Be less dependent, be more independent

Actually, don’t know why I wrote this as a goal. Have always been independent. Or maybe I meant financial independence? 3/10

Be resolute, less sway

This is an important goal, as I suspect I have ADD. So far, I’ve kept to my hunch and gut-feel. 7/10

BeLief

8/10. As I begin to trust myself more each day, I find the confidence slowly creeping back. Have to be careful though, as I may become blind to others’ advice. Keep a straight mind. Listen more and make deductions to comments made. In the end, simply believe in myself.